Does it make your brain hurt? DOES IT?
Oh, and also…
This… this jewel in the sea known as internet… Happy Valentines Day!
Does it make your brain hurt? DOES IT?
Oh, and also…
This… this jewel in the sea known as internet… Happy Valentines Day!
My father opened a blog today. My reaction to this statement:
And now to better news:
My old blog, the first one, is alive again. Sadly, it is in Serbian, which means you maybe can’t read it. I love that blog so much…
It was my first blog (I know I said that already) and I wrote on it together with my boyfriend. It was going so well, until I realized that I was the only one writing. Hell no! Boy, write your own blog from now on.
Just kidding! I didn’t do that. I just wanted to write in English. Now I regret for ever abandoning that blog. It was the best thing that ever happened to me on internet. Interesting is that it was on blogger.
Chronologically speaking, my first blog was this one, but it hasn’t been active for months.
Another good news is I’m finally going to visit my boyfriend! I have a bus in 3:55 AM and I can’t wait. So, my next post will be from Belgrade. Bye!
The only thing worse than having no choice is choosing between good and even better.
I got admitted. In both places. While I was expecting only to be accepted to one place, I got into both. I didn’t know what to do, since that wasn’t what I was prepared for. Good thing is, I had time. Not much, but I could think about choices.
Anyway, I had to find pros and cons of both places. I tried, but even then, I couldn’t come to a decision. Some of my friends said that I should go to Novi Sad, because it is a smaller town and not that expensive. Also, education is good there. But in Belgrade education is excellent and there are so many job opportunities. Also, in Belgrade something is always happening. It is much closer to my hometown and much familiar to me, since I’ve been going to visit my boyfriend there for years.
By the evening, I had come to a decision. Belgrade. There is no good reason, except that I was tired of decisions. I threw a coin. The end.
The only thing now left is to convince my parents why in Belgrade. Turns out they wanted me to go to Belgrade in the first place. Drama about parents is solved. Ah, that is the life. I just have to go there tomorrow.
In the end, I was proud of myself. I changed the way of my life, gave up on music, but started chasing new career. of language, culture and customs. First one, I want to learn is English, and then.. Who knows? Maybe I will learn German, or French, even Russian sounds exciting. Hobby will be always Japanese (those guys are awesome). I don’t know if I will be good at it, but one thing I do know – when you are talented in many areas, nothing is difficult.
My best friend always told me that I was just like his older brother. Everything came easy to me. Whatever I tried to do, it was always perfect and good. But I am, just like his brother, damn lazy! Except when it comes to languages. My best friend and me are language freaks. Although I speak only two languages (along with my native), I can easily adjust my mind to another one. Like French the other day.
He was trying to teach me French accent which is really difficult for me (no reason). I was really good at it and he said that maybe I could learn it, when I finish English and German. I can’t wait.
Anyway, from that day, you are not talking to the violin player. I am not a musician anymore. And I am happy with that.
Oh, and let me rewrite my “About” page. Sorry about that.
That morning I woke up early. It was necessary to drink coffee and eat something in order to think properly. Yes, it was the D-day of my life. The day I will someday in the future tell to my grandchildren. Anyway I didn’t want any of that; it just wasn’t part of my daily routine (the eating part). At 8 o’clock in the morning I was at the building holding my ID card and waiting to get inside.
When we entered the classroom and I saw papers at my seat, I realized that we won’t be able to go out until the exam was over. By my rough estimations, that could be for three or four hours. I thanked God for not drinking anything and seated myself. At half past eight, the exam began.
The exam had 5 parts.
1) They tested our knowledge of grammar
2) Testing our understanding of texts in English by reading and then answering the questions, which was entirely pointless, because, instead of taking our texts away, they let us have them all the time. It was like giving the test and the answer sheets at the same time.
3) Listening comprehension – the same as reading, but we now listen to text and have the questions with us.
4) Write an essay about 200 words long – really, almost every post on this blog has minimum of 400 words. How can I even do this? It’s hard. (I love sarcasm)
These 4 parts, although they were easy, took very long, so it was about 11 o’clock or something like that. When we were finished, we thought it was time for a short break, because the fourth part was a test o Serbian grammar. But the universe proved us wrong, again. The moment we finished the English part, the commission of English part went outside and we greeted the Serbian one. Great. The test was supposed to be an hour long, but everyone finished it for 20 minutes, and they wouldn’t let us go! We had to wait for 40 minutes! Hungry, thirsty and tired, I thanked God for my endurance from time when I was musician.
I felt sorry for those kids. They weren’t prepared for that and their concentration was slipping by the end of the English test. They were also afraid, although they knew there was nothing to be afraid of. It is in our nature, to fear of unknown.
In the end, I think we all celebrated when we got out of the classroom. I was happy and focused on another exam that was taking place tomorrow…
For a month I’ve been studying English. Everything I knew, had to be checked again, and I had to learn that which I didn’t know. I have to admit that it was quite refreshing learning languages and suddenly, I found myself being able to sit for hours at desk solving tests and learning grammar. Whenever i had free time, I went out for a coffee and read a book in English, or Serbian (my native language). In other words, my whole world was about languages and for the first time in two years I was happy. I knew that the day when I talked to my parents about that will come soon, but I always pushed it away from my mind, knowing that the outcome won’t be good.
Three days before the D-day, I went home. It was time to talk to my parents and tell them about my decision. I won’t tel you here how the conversation went, because it is not relevant for someone who is not a close relative, but I will tell you that, at the end, they had no choice but to accept my decision and help me do whatever I want.
I felt a little guilty, because I know that I was supposed to give 200% of me into this. But, I didn’t. I could have done so much more. But I didn’t. What I did do is something different. I detached myself from any emotion regarding my professions. I thought about everything with cool head and an diplomatic approach. I didn’t smile, I didn’t cry. I didn’t show any emotion. I had a goal and I was determined to reach it.
At the day before entrance exam, I was just like any other day. Surfing on the internet, drinking coffee, laughing with friends, watching movies… People didn’t know I had an exam tomorrow because I didn’t act like I had the most critical moment in my life next day. I felt proud because of that. Years of public appearance while I was playing violin paid of. Of course, this gave me the edge upon other students, because they were almost shaking out of fear at the entrance exam.
My combination of endurance (I had to play violin for hours without stopping. What is 4 hours of an exam?), calm state (I don’t get nervous under the pressure), knowledge (I do know English, you know?) and experience (my second entrance exam in my life) was something that helped me success. The moment I walked out of the classroom in which the exam took place, I was aware of the position I am in.
I just laughed and thought: “This ought to be fun.”
Later that day I was in train for Novi Sad, going to the Faculty of Philosophy there in order to do another exam and be accepted into that school.
It all started a month ago. I cannot remember exactly when, all I know is that I was working on something very important – an essay for a contest from Goi peace foundation. I was proud on that text and very tired, since I’ve been writing it for hours. Sitting on cool air was doing me good, and I was enjoying my coffee, looking at my biggest writing work I ever did. Suddenly, a tiny voice inside my head said a sentence that I will never forget:
“You can do better than that!”
I tried to silence it, like I did for two years, but this time I was very tired and I gave up shortly after a miserable fight. The Voice continued with venomous enthusiasm:
“Look at you! You are not happy with what you are doing. You do like music, but that is not what you want. You want something different. That’s why you are writing blog, reading books in English language, correct people who make grammar mistakes… You can do so much more, but you are trapped.”
I have to admit, the Voice was right. My conscience is telling me that it is time for decisions, and that I need to make them now. But it is not easy.
I have to erase two, no, six years of my past, almost like they never existed. I need to start from the beginning, and I was afraid and tired. Also, there was a question hanging in the air – will it be worth it?
“Do it now, while you still can. In a day or two, it will be too late to do anything and you will be miserable again. Remember your idea from six months ago. It IS the right thing to do. You crave for knowledge, but not this one. You want to learn about others, their history, culture, language. You are good at that. You were the best in high school and here, too. Everyone except you know that. Don’t waste talent. Do it!”
And I did it. I called my boyfriend, who was in Belgrade at the time, and asked him to go to the Faculty of Philology and ask them what I need to do to be admitted.
The storm is about to begin…
Writing this blog is one of the best ideas I ever came up with. It makes me happy and I found a new hobby that I started really to like – writing. I also started reading again, which I haven’t done in years. I am expanding my vocabulary of Serbian language, and soon, I’ll start reading also books on English. When I expand my English vocabulary, I’ll start writing short stories on that language too.
Anyway, a couple of days ago I decided to take part in a writing contest in my country. I think that is a huge step because, honestly, I never wrote anything. Except in high school, but that doesn’t count, doesn’t it?
I have to write a short story that has no more than 20 000 character (that is about 6 pages – 3000 characters per page). They weren’t specific about the genre and the topic, so I can use my imagination as much as I want. So, I have some pretty good ideas, but I won’t share them with you. You will know the story when the contest is finished and they declare a winner.
By the way, the prizes for first three places are very nice. I am not very into winning on this one, but, hey, I am an eternal optimist. So, if I win, first I’ll do is posting the story translated on English here, so all of you can read. Wait, I will do that anyway.
And I know what I will do with money if I win (a big “if”): I will use it for something good. Maybe for a new computer, or something like that. Honestly, I haven’t thought really about it. Should I think this way? Of course! I never get disappointed. Hello! I am a eternal optimist.
Well, wish me luck on this contest, and, just so you know, if I don’t write, that means I am writing something else. Be patient, and you will see.
Oh, how much fun I’ll have!