Change of Heart Part 4

The only thing worse than having no choice is choosing between good and even better.

I got admitted. In both places. While I was expecting only to be accepted to one place, I got into both. I didn’t know what to do, since that wasn’t what I was prepared for. Good thing is, I had time. Not much, but I could think about choices.

Anyway, I had to find pros and cons of both places. I tried, but even then, I couldn’t come to a decision. Some of my friends said that I should go to Novi Sad, because it is a smaller town and not that expensive. Also, education is good there. But in Belgrade education is excellent and there are so many job opportunities. Also, in Belgrade something is always happening. It is much closer to my hometown and much familiar to me, since I’ve been going to visit my boyfriend there for years.

By the evening, I had come to a decision. Belgrade. There is no good reason, except that I was tired of decisions. I threw a coin. The end.

The only thing now left is to convince my parents why in Belgrade. Turns out they wanted me to go to Belgrade in the first place. Drama about parents is solved. Ah, that is the life. I just have to go there tomorrow.

In the end, I was proud of myself. I changed the way of my life, gave up on music, but started chasing new career. of language, culture and customs. First one, I want to learn is English, and then.. Who knows? Maybe I will learn German, or French, even Russian sounds exciting. Hobby will be always Japanese (those guys are awesome). I don’t know if I will be good at it, but one thing I do know – when you are talented in many areas, nothing is difficult.

My best friend always told me that I was just like his older brother. Everything came easy to me. Whatever I tried to do, it was always perfect and good. But I am, just like his brother, damn lazy! Except when it comes to languages. My best friend and me are language freaks. Although I speak only two languages (along with my native), I can easily adjust my mind to another one. Like French the other day.

He was trying to teach me French accent which is really difficult for me (no reason). I was really good at it and he said that maybe I could learn it, when I finish English and German. I can’t wait.

Anyway, from that day, you are not talking to the violin player.  I am not a musician anymore. And I am happy with that.

Oh, and let me rewrite my “About” page.  Sorry about that.


Change of Heart Part 2 (I will skip some parts)

I will skip some days ahead, because they are not that relevant for you and I am to lazy to write every detail about my entrance exam in Novi Sad and everything that happened after that, so, before I write the main event for this story, I will tell you some things that happened meanwhile.

Novi Sad is a beautiful city. Much more than Belgrade and not noisy. Also, it doesn’t have hills (I know it’s not the correct word, but I can’t remember the real one, sorry)

Entrance exam was more difficult than in Belgrade. E.g. here was 6 pages of grammar and literature (which is interesting, since no school teaches English literature. Oh, how lucky I was that I read Orwell and some other books before this exam) and the second part was an interview with professors from the faculty. Good thing is that they gave us more freedom as in going to toilet and leaving when you have finished.

Their paperwork is too complicated.. I thought, at one point, that they would ask me what I had for breakfast.

There was a guy who looked exactly like my boyfriend would look if he were 7 years younger. Bald, tall, skater outfit… Same earrings… Weird..

Wine festival in Novi Sad was awesome. Too bad I can’t remember half of it.

Traveling by train in Serbia is awesome.

Tu cut long story short, day after the exam, I found out I was admitted. Now all I had to do is wait for results from Belgrade.

After that I was afraid. People were telling me that it was very difficult to get admitted into the Belgrade faculty, because many are trying. I was starting to think I will not be in Belgrade and made a plan for living in Novi Sad. I almost got used to that.

While all of this was happening, I have to say, with little sorrow that I didn’t have my parents support. While they agreed to help me with my plan, they weren’t really pleased with the situation. They still think I would be a better musician than linguist. Well, my dear parents, if you knew English language and started reading my blog, you would know how much talented am I really.

Also, for some reason I don’t know, they hate English language. My father said that I should try and learn German, but I didn’t even want to hear about it. Why would I want to trade such a simple language (let’s face it, it’s a lot easier than German or Serbian)?  My mother doesn’t even bother…

That night, with these thoughts on mind, I went to sleep, only to hear good news next morning.

The results from Belgrade are here.

Change of Heart Part 2 (The Entrance Exam)

That morning I woke up early. It was necessary to drink coffee and eat something in order to think properly. Yes, it was the D-day of my life. The day I will someday in the future tell to my grandchildren. Anyway I didn’t want any of that; it just wasn’t part of my daily routine (the eating part). At 8 o’clock in the morning I was at the building holding my ID card and waiting to get inside. 

When we entered the classroom and I saw papers at my seat, I realized that we won’t be able to go out until the exam was over. By my rough estimations, that could be for three or four hours. I thanked God for not drinking anything and seated myself. At half past eight, the exam began.

The exam had 5 parts. 

1) They tested our knowledge of grammar

2) Testing our understanding of texts in English by reading and then answering the questions, which was entirely pointless, because, instead of taking our texts away, they let us have them all the time. It was like giving the test and the answer sheets at the same time.

3) Listening comprehension – the same as reading, but we now listen to text and have the questions with us. 

4) Write an essay about 200 words long – really, almost every post on this blog has minimum of 400 words. How can I even do this? It’s hard. (I love sarcasm)

These 4 parts, although they were easy, took very long, so it was about 11 o’clock or something like that. When we were finished, we thought it was time for a short break, because the fourth part was a test o Serbian grammar. But the universe proved us wrong, again. The moment we finished the English part, the commission of English part went outside and we greeted the Serbian one. Great. The test was supposed to be an hour long, but everyone finished it for 20 minutes, and they wouldn’t let us go! We had to wait for 40 minutes! Hungry, thirsty and tired, I thanked God for my endurance from time when I was musician. 

I felt sorry for those kids. They weren’t prepared for that and their concentration was slipping by the end of the English test. They were also afraid, although they knew there was nothing to be afraid of. It is in our nature, to fear of unknown. 

In the end, I think we all celebrated when we got out of the classroom. I was happy and focused on another exam that was taking place tomorrow…

Change of Heart (Part 1)

For a month I’ve been studying English. Everything I knew, had to be checked again, and I had to learn that which I didn’t know. I have to admit that it was quite refreshing learning languages and suddenly, I found myself being able to sit for hours at desk solving tests and learning grammar. Whenever i had free time, I went out for a coffee and read a book in English, or Serbian (my native language). In other words, my whole world was about languages and for the first time in two years I was happy. I knew that the day when I talked to my parents about that will come soon, but I always pushed it away from my mind, knowing that the outcome won’t be good.

Three days before the D-day, I went home. It was time to talk to my parents and tell them about my decision. I won’t tel you here how the conversation went, because it is not relevant for someone who is not a close relative, but I will tell you that, at the end, they had no choice but to accept my decision and help me do whatever I want.

I felt a little guilty, because I know that I was supposed to give 200% of me into this. But, I didn’t. I could have done so much more. But I didn’t. What I did do is something different. I detached myself from any emotion regarding my professions. I thought about everything with cool head and an diplomatic approach. I didn’t smile, I didn’t cry. I didn’t show any emotion. I had a goal and I was determined to reach it.

At the day before entrance exam, I was just like any other day. Surfing on the internet, drinking coffee, laughing with friends, watching movies… People didn’t know I had an exam tomorrow because I didn’t act like I had the most critical moment in my life next day. I felt proud because of that. Years of public appearance while I was playing violin paid of. Of course, this gave me the edge upon other students, because they were almost shaking out of fear at the entrance exam.

My combination of endurance (I had to play violin for hours without stopping. What is 4 hours of an exam?), calm state (I don’t get nervous under the pressure), knowledge (I do know English, you know?) and experience (my second entrance exam in my life) was something that helped me success. The moment I walked out of the classroom in which the exam took place, I was aware of the position I am in.

I just laughed and thought: “This ought to be fun.”

Later that day I was in train for Novi Sad, going to the Faculty of Philosophy there in order to do another exam and be accepted into that school.

I had the best teacher in the world

When I was supposed to make decision which high school to attend, I didn’t know what to do. As much as I wanted to attend music high school my father wanted me to go to gymnasium. Because I wanted to please my parents, I attended both schools at the same time, going in the morning to gymnasium and in the afternoon on my violin classes.

After two years, I just couldn’t take it anymore and I stood in front of my parents and exclaimed: “Either I stop going to gymnasium, or I will just leave music school.”In the end they agreed and I spent 3rd and 4th year in music school. There I had the best teacher ever.

It was our classroom teacher. She was teaching us the rules of harmony and how to use them in life. She was young and caring, but in the same time strict and fair. We always loved her classes that consisted not only of teaching lessons, but also of solving problems. She always gave us homework, but we knew that was for our own good. If we didn’t do them, we couldn’t pass the final exam, not because she would fail us, but because we wouldn’t know how to do it.

Why is she the best teacher? Well, apart from above mentioned, she managed to teach all of us this very difficult subject. It is a fact that our student with lowest grade knew as much as the most brilliant ones. It was just the difference of explaining it and trying to stay cool in most difficult situation that determined our grade.

Also, she loved us as if we were her own children. Whenever we did something wrong, she would never yell. She would just look at us, with disappointment in her eyes, and we would immediately feel ashamed. That is why we were a fine and relatively calm generation.

There was one time, when we were in the 4th grade that she asked the third year to attend her support classes. No one showed up. We were at that time in school, practicing for upcoming exams and we heard her cry in her classroom. You see, that woman was traveling every time from another city, where she lived, to our school to teach us, and she missed her last bus to go home because of them. How did they have the courage not to show up? Next day, we went to the third grade classroom and we said to them: “If you know what is good for you,all of  you will show up on next support class of harmony. Also all of you will, this moment, go to her and apologize for you behavior.”

We knew they will do that, because they were afraid. We never bullied them, instead we refused to help them with their homework whenever they did something to our classroom teacher. Believe it or not, this demand worked better than making them do something with force.

The irony was that, after us, the best generation that school had in its lifetime, came the worst one ever.

Why me?

Do you wonder what I’m doing now? Well, you wouldn’t guess never. I’m sitting in hall of a faculty hundreds of kilometer away from home. What am I doing there? Believe me, I don’t know either.

It all stared when I stopped writing on this blog. I was talking on the phone with my father and he asked me to travel with him to “the very end of our country” so he could give his exams. I don’t know why, but I said yes. About 3 days ago, I came home to rest and see my family. Believe me, I didn’t even put my luggage on the floor when my parents told me that I’m going with my father to “the very end of the country.” Cute. Maybe I should think of some other names for other cities.

Anyway, I woke up at 5 o’clock this morning and I’ve been traveling for eight hours only to sit now in hall of an ugly building trying to catch some wireless network from neighborhood. And just so you know it – I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in these two days and I didn’t have my morning coffee. The day is just getting better and better.

Kind to think of it, it is so funny.