Change of Heart (Part 1)

For a month I’ve been studying English. Everything I knew, had to be checked again, and I had to learn that which I didn’t know. I have to admit that it was quite refreshing learning languages and suddenly, I found myself being able to sit for hours at desk solving tests and learning grammar. Whenever i had free time, I went out for a coffee and read a book in English, or Serbian (my native language). In other words, my whole world was about languages and for the first time in two years I was happy. I knew that the day when I talked to my parents about that will come soon, but I always pushed it away from my mind, knowing that the outcome won’t be good.

Three days before the D-day, I went home. It was time to talk to my parents and tell them about my decision. I won’t tel you here how the conversation went, because it is not relevant for someone who is not a close relative, but I will tell you that, at the end, they had no choice but to accept my decision and help me do whatever I want.

I felt a little guilty, because I know that I was supposed to give 200% of me into this. But, I didn’t. I could have done so much more. But I didn’t. What I did do is something different. I detached myself from any emotion regarding my professions. I thought about everything with cool head and an diplomatic approach. I didn’t smile, I didn’t cry. I didn’t show any emotion. I had a goal and I was determined to reach it.

At the day before entrance exam, I was just like any other day. Surfing on the internet, drinking coffee, laughing with friends, watching movies… People didn’t know I had an exam tomorrow because I didn’t act like I had the most critical moment in my life next day. I felt proud because of that. Years of public appearance while I was playing violin paid of. Of course, this gave me the edge upon other students, because they were almost shaking out of fear at the entrance exam.

My combination of endurance (I had to play violin for hours without stopping. What is 4 hours of an exam?), calm state (I don’t get nervous under the pressure), knowledge (I do know English, you know?) and experience (my second entrance exam in my life) was something that helped me success. The moment I walked out of the classroom in which the exam took place, I was aware of the position I am in.

I just laughed and thought: “This ought to be fun.”

Later that day I was in train for Novi Sad, going to the Faculty of Philosophy there in order to do another exam and be accepted into that school.


One thought on “Change of Heart (Part 1)

  1. Those are such great traits to have.. that you can be so calm and collected under the pressure (whether it’s an exam or a concert performance)

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