Calm Before The Storm (aka. the Prologue)

It all started a month ago. I cannot remember exactly when, all I know is that I was working on something very important – an essay for a contest from Goi peace foundation. I was proud on that text and very tired, since I’ve been writing it for hours. Sitting on cool air was doing me good, and I was enjoying my coffee, looking at my biggest writing work I ever did. Suddenly, a tiny voice inside my head said a sentence that I will never forget:

“You can do better than that!”

I tried to silence it, like I did for two years, but this time I was very tired and I gave up shortly after a miserable fight. The Voice continued with venomous enthusiasm:

“Look at you! You are not happy with what you are doing. You do like music, but that is not what you want. You want something different. That’s why you are writing blog, reading books in English language, correct people who make grammar mistakes… You can do so much more, but you are trapped.”

I have to admit, the Voice was right. My conscience is telling me that it is time for decisions, and that I need to make them now. But  it is not easy.

I have to erase two, no, six years of my past, almost like they never existed. I need to start from the beginning, and I was afraid and tired. Also, there was a question hanging in the air – will it be worth it?

Do it now, while you still can. In a day or two, it will be too late to do anything and you will be miserable again. Remember your idea from six months ago. It IS the right thing to do. You crave for knowledge, but not this one. You want to learn about others, their history, culture, language. You are good at that. You were the best in high school and here, too. Everyone except you know that. Don’t waste talent. Do it!”

And I did it. I called my boyfriend, who was in Belgrade at the time, and asked him to go to the Faculty of Philology and ask them what I need to do to be admitted.

The storm is about to begin…

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3 thoughts on “Calm Before The Storm (aka. the Prologue)

  1. Good for you, following your dream 🙂 It is hard to make such a decision, but if you want it enough and have the ability, you can make a success of it. You can’t know if it’s worth it until you try, but you’ll never know unless you try. But you can’t erase your past, those experiences and whatever you have learned from them don’t need to be wasted. Most things provide some transferable skills, and anyway, if you enjoyed them at all, they are never a waste! Good luck and I look forward to reading about your new adventure 🙂

  2. Thats really impressive. Making yourself do the very best you can, in writing or anything else is always tiring. I know the effort that goes into writing so being so honest with yourself is even more impressive

  3. Thank you so much for your support. Believe it or not, this actually means a lot to me. Because of changing my profession, I lost support from many people in my surroundings and a lot of other laugh at me thinking I am dumb or a failure (I don’t care what they think of me, but it still hurts when they laugh in my face).
    So, once again, thank you.

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