This idea came to my mind while I was playing that famous video game “Evil Genius.” Well, that is what I thought. Actually, I was playing that game, trying not to make mistakes that most of the bad guys do. Seriously,what’s with those monologues when they catch those agents of justice? And then they leave him in a cell that is not guarded or leave him to die very slowly in a thank full of sharks or on the table with laser that slowly moves toward him.
Of course, I knew that’s because people want to see the good guy saving the day, but, seriously, who’s that dumb?
First, every villain must know how to get out of trouble. Fool the cops, press, blame it on the government, fake your own death or do the puppy eyes. For God’s sake, the way to escape is out there somewhere, you just need to find it!
Second: When you have your archenemy in front of you, broken and desperate to defeat you, do NOT hesitate to kill him and do not let your minions do that job. They will just screw it up and your enemy will escape.
Third: Camouflage your evil lair. Build traps and mazes. Cover your tracks and don’t even make yourself suspicious. Be in the shadow.
Fourth: Brainwash your minions. That could come very handy later in your progress to rule the world. Brainwashed minions follow you without any question. Also learn that they aren’t irreplaceable.
And fifth and the last rule: Never start your monologue when you think you are victorious. That’s when you are most vulnerable! Just, shut your f***ing mouth and shoot.
It’s that easy. Just follow these steps and you will be on right path to rule the world. Oh, did I mention that you also need to be very rich and intelligent. The name says it all – Evil Genius.